Life is currently moving at a speed that should have no heartfelt mercy for such things as memoirs or written musings on trivial things such as humour, book covers, photos of cultural icons, or recent forays into cooking. And not that this speed is the horrifying feeling of driving a sports car over the rigid cement barriers of a highway overpass, it’s more of a brisk cruise on a nice boat with the wind rustling the locks of your hair. Most of us enjoy boat rides, except those of us who are deathly afraid of water.
As it stands right now it’s a typically mild night in London, a city recuperating from a shock cold spell a week or so ago. At that time I was ill. Being ill is a state your body goes into when it doesn’t want weird things in it.
I was then passed through a week of feeling distant and nostalgic. Probably a quick smoke up outside a pub in Croydon for the first time in the better part of a year commenced and then amplified this situation. I felt the strange moods of colour being whisked on the train back into the pulsing heart of London, chaotic racket blasting in my earphones. It was mainly a feeling of a massive of disconnection and vulnerability.
The next day I orchestrated that feeling to dizzying heights in long order of cocktails, partially unplanned, which flirted with pushing the needle right into the red. I can see my inner warning lights and pay strict attention. I retired home before rolling like a rock down a hill.
There’s still a big feel of disconnection. It comes up and around whenever it feels convenient. Neither here nor there. Over two years removed from one place and snaking roots into another. After all this time it’s starting to feel like home.
But where location and company are still settling into place, all of this creative output is starting to crystallize. It feels like it it’s going in it’s own organic direction with far less of a feeling of doubt than it used to. All that’s needed is time and a push into the next phase. All that’s needed is a bit of work…
“Your uniform rests in a well secured spot as the public address bluntly states: ‘WORK WILL SET YOU FREE’” – Beautiful Skin
